Having just returned from a short stay in the land of my fathers I thought I would put together a brief but rigorously scientific overview of the state of the Polish diaspora in the UK. This serves the dual purpose of making it look like I was doing something for the past week and allowing me to bore you with my holiday snaps.
First words of Polish heard (excluding airports):
10:47 AM, Day 1, Rye
“Ale schudłam!”* – 30-something woman to friend walking up street
The mean streets of Rye where Poles are wasting away from hunger
Second words of Polish heard:
4:30 PM, Day 2, Hastings
“No, no, no…”** – 20-something girl on mobile phone
Polish restaurants spotted:
1 – HAK, Hasting sea front, “Bigos” spelled “Bee gos” on menu
“Bigos? We have no bIgos… only beeeee gos!”
Most confusing conversation in Polish:
Bar of the Mermaid Inn, Rye
Mrs Island1: Good evening! It’s nice to hear Polish spoken.
Poles (confused): There are Poles everywhere.
Mrs Island1: Are you on holiday or do you live here?
Poles: We live here. Lots of Poles here. Where are you from?
Mrs Island1: From Krakow.
Poles: You are on holiday? Where are you going back to?
Mrs Island1: To Krakow.
Poles: No. I mean where are you going back to? London?
Mrs Island1: To Krakow.
Poles: (confused mutterings hinting at suspicions of insanity)
Island1: Jestem anglikiem!
Polish flags spotted:
1 – Brighton pier, along with French, Spanish, Italian, and British only.
Spot the Pole
Most commonly overheard-Polish false alarm:
Russian (or possibly Ukrainian, or Belorussian, or something like that)
Most of these people are Russian
Incidence of Zywiec spotted in off licenses:
About 50 percent.
Incidence of Zywiec consumed by this reporter:
Exactly zero percent.
* I’ve lost weight!
** Yes, yes, yes…
Where is that beach? It’s bigger than the one in Marazion.
Lots of Poles, indeed! We come to take you over, buhahahaha!!!
According to some data, this year more Poles left Ireland than came to Ireland for the first time since 1995. I never believed all these numbers, I have so many polish friends that consider Ireland their home.
That’s Brighton beach. We definitely noticed far more Russians (or people speaking a variant of Russian) than Poles.
Oh, OK, that’s good then
Maybe they were pretending there were in Brighton Beach in New York (an area known as little Odessa)!!
Welcome back!
They are indeed coming back.
38.115.909 (30.7. 2008)
38,482,919 (July 2009)
only matter of time when we reach 40millions again…
Does anyone know what happened to the Beatroot, another “anglikiem”? Did he return to jolly old England or what? Or has he just gone underground, living in the Warsaw sewers, plotting the overthrow of the Polish government?
According to first-hand reports the beatroot has been seen walking around on his hind legs on Polish soil in the not too distant past. Apart from that I know nothing.
I’m sorry, I don’t get the dialogue. Any hints on what is the confusion caused by? ;)
It was confusing because the Poles we met assumed we lived in the UK and were on holiday in the UK. They couldn’t grasp the concept that we lived in Poland all the time.
I think Michał by this: “;)” showed you island1 that he understood it perfectly! In the other way, one of you is sorry I have to say it – imbecile!
You are too much funny for me at first scan, have to stop, put down my pint, re read, and laugh my arse off properly.
Agree on the overheard-Polish false alarm. Heard lots of near-Polish on the beaches of Cannes. At first I thought they were just gorale, only to be disappointed.
Yay, we have Malaysian immigrants in UK as well! At least my uncle (who used to be an illegal immigrant) and Jimmy Choo!! Haha!
Jamie – congrats and welcome back. Dow we expect the Island’s to begin creating an archipelago in the near future?
scatts – my email to you bounced back again – yes, it would be great to have a meet in October
Bob, don’t know why the mail is bouncing. I’ve added you to the “whitelist” although that shouldn’t be necessary. So worth trying to send again.
Meet in Oct good for me.
Lots of polish women in UK are getting fat like english women. They say that there even the air is so fatten. Why I stay here! So perfect, slim and sexy! :D
Not all English women are fat!
It’s a gradual cultural change (and largely class-dependent): it started in the States, moved over to Britain, is beginning to show signs in France and western continental Europe. Mark my words, Miss Material Girl, your grandchildren will definitely be on the chubby side… :)
Always amazed, how every world problem is some how twisted into Americas fualt from WW1 to J LO butts popping up all over the EU.
not America’s fault, just that things (i.e. social trends) tend to happen there first. You could say it means the US is more advanced than us…
(ps WW1? How on earth can you pin that one on the States? That’d make an interesting pub discussion.)
Believe it or not, I,ve had that very discussion…..in a pub. I don,t blame Europeans for blaming America…just not me personally. I,m Irish I think Great Grand Mother and Father made a mistake getting on that boat. The famine was almost nearley over…..
My rather not. I was so slim always, that I was taken for a boy, what I hated when I was younger. Now I have tits and ass and I stop to take care about it, though sometimes my slimness? is still taken as a young man in the jacket or the coat. :D I will never be on diet. But I saw this type of fattish polish children in new generation.
ha ha. must read.
h ttp://www.thisisnottingham.co.uk/news/Biting-robber-DNA/article-1388780-detail/article.html
I meant to say, Jamie, that “airports” is not a Polish word. ;)
disgusting scum.
h ttp://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/geraldwarner/100012872/stephen-frys-slur-against-polish-catholics-remember-which-side-of-the-border-auschwitz-was-on/