Polandian caption competition #1

Here are some photographs I found floating around on Polish news sites this week. I have no idea what or who most of them are about, so I’ve made up my own captions. Our talented and remarkably attractive readers can undoubtedly do better.
1

Nuclear power plants – you’re doing it wrong
* * *
2

Polish police close in [...]

Eight Polish-to-English translation errors that are ruining my life

I know there are good Polish-to-English translators out there because I’ve read Kapuściński in English and thoroughly enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I never seem to get to work with them. I spend an alarming amount of my time these days earning a crust on the ‘proofreading’* circuit and I’m developing a complex of neuroses any Viennese [...]

The Ghost Writer (Autor Widmo): Movie Review

Polanski was unexpectedly arrested and threatened with extradition to the United States while The Ghost Writer was in post production. The result was a surge of interest in the director’s work and a great deal of bated breath over the release of his latest movie. The main plot thread of the movie concerns a former [...]

Sezon Kabaretowy 2010 rozpoczęty!

Read Aneta Stokes’ new column on the Dziennik Polski website if you know what’s good for you. She’s my wife you know.

The pride of Poland

The pride of Poland. New column in the Krakow post — “Like the rest of the nation I am now an armchair cross-country skiing expert. Poland’s Justyna Kowalczyk has won two Olympic gongs and is in the running for more. Veteran ski jumper Adam Małysz has also bagged two and re-ignited the nation’s passion for [...]

The pressure

Recently a lot of Polish people have been complaining to me about pressure. At first I assumed they were talking about career stress but then I remembered none of the people I know have proper jobs. They meant atmospheric pressure. I’ve never heard another human being comment on the dearth or abundance of air molecules [...]

8 things we’ll miss about winter when it’s gone

I hereby declare this winter over. It’s been around quite long enough and it’s high time it called a taxi and got its coat on. This morning 90 percent of the snow in Krakow was gone and I swear I heard a bird singing. I’ve no doubt winter will pop back once or twice because [...]

The Polish hair cut

There are few things I hate more than having my hair cut. I find the experience of watching a complete stranger wielding sharp objects around my head deeply uncomfortable. There’s something very alarming about a person radically altering your appearance in public while you sit there in a strangulating bib. I strongly suspect most men [...]

The Big Freeze

The Big Freeze My latest column for the Krakow Post. It’s all about snow: “It’s been snowing. Other things may have happened but nobody can be sure since these things have immediately been buried under six feet of icy precipitation. There are strange humpy white shapes scattered all over the country that may or may [...]

How to survive a Polish winter

It’s winter in Poland. I know this because I can’t feel any of my extremities and because every news item I’ve seen in the past month has been about upside down cars in snow drifts. Assuming you live in Poland and plan on making it through to spring without losing significant parts of your anatomy to frostbite I recommend you read the following: