My Polish Street: Przyjaciół

I’ve lived in three places since I’ve been in Poland, gradually moving further out each time. My first apartment was smack-bang in the centre of the Embassy district on a street called “Przyjaciół”, the big red X on the map below (click to enlarge).

I moved into this apartment after having lived in the Sheraton Hotel [...]

Bus TV

I always thought the one thing missing from the whole experience of traveling by bus was the opportunity to watch mind-numbingly dull commercials on TV. Simply enduring repeated umbrella blows to the thorax from combative old ladies is not enough these days. As if by a miracle my fantasies have been fulfilled by the advent of Bus TV. Apparently this miracle occurred some time ago but I haven’t been on a bus for a while, or at least sober on a bus for a while, so the revelation has been late in coming to Polandian.

My Polish Street: Anatomy of a Polish ‘burb

The suburbs of Poland are chaos theory applied to residential development. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to explain what has transpired other than to assume it has been an out of control free-for-all, first come first serve and do what the hell you like. So astounded was I by this mess that I recently visited a town planning department cunningly disguised as a guy who wants to build something armed with a secret voice recorder. Here is the transcript of our meeting:

My Polish Street: The Ballad of Pani Basia

I don’t remember the first time I saw Pani Basia, but I do remember the last. She was sitting on a battered chair on the pavement outside my building. Blue lights and paramedics were standing by, hands on hips. It looked like she’d fallen again. I didn’t see her fall, but then I didn’t see her fall the first time. We just found her on her back, struggling, for all the world like a cartoon turtle, except the splash of blood from her head wasn’t funny.

My Polish Street: Polish Graffiti

Polandian Theme Month is a cunning invention that does away with the need for me to think up a new idea every week. This month’s theme is My Polish Street, which has the double advantage of providing a framework for a series of devastatingly incisive posts on modern urban Poland as well as eliminating the need for me to walk very far to take pictures. Today: Polish Graffiti.

Unknown scoops Agent Tomasz role

A complete unknown has landed the most sought after role in Polish law enforcement according to anonymous sources. When the part became available last month dozens of complete nobodies descended on Poland’s Anti-Corruption Bureau (CBA) hoping to play the sexy spy. “Casting the role was a difficult task,” said a CBA official “but we’re confident [...]

Poland to get U.S. ‘Baseball Bat’ defense system

The latest review of U.S. defense policy has produced a new alternative to the controversial and long-delayed missile batteries promised to Poland by former president George W Bush. The new scheme, known by the code name ‘Baseball Bat’ has been described as “pretty scary” by Polish defense analysts. “To be honest,” said U.S. Vice President [...]

The Polish wallet photo

One of the very few occasions on which you will see a Krakowian reaching for his wallet is when he’s about to show you a photo of his wife, child, or dog. In fact most Poles seem to treat their wallets as a handy portable family album with a supplementary money-carrying facility. Some Brits carry [...]

The Polish pie mystery

I’ve seen a lot of nice things to eat in Poland, but none of them were pies. The more I think about this the odder it seems. You may wonder why would I spend any time at all thinking about this, but then you don’t know me. Let me get one thing straight from [...]

The world according to Londyńczycy

As an Englishman living in Poland I am legally required to watch Londyńczycy, at least that’s what my wife tells me and she wouldn’t lie about a thing like that. I’ve never seen the inspectors myself but she tells me they came round a couple of times when I was out to check I was [...]